Government Explained

FEUDALISM
You have two cows. 
Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows. 
The government takes them and puts them in a barn with
everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the 
cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
You have two cows. 
The government takes them and puts them in a barn with
everyone else's cows. The cows are cared for by ex-chicken 
farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the 
government took from the chicken farmers. The government 
gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you
should need.

FACISM
You have two cows. 
The government takes both, hires you to take care of them,
and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM
You have two cows. 
Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all
share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. 
You have to take care of them, but the government takes
all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. 
The government takes both cows and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP
You have two cows. 
The government takes both cows and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. 
Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. 
Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. 
At first the government regulates what you can feed them
and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk 
them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and 
pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill 
out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY
You have two cows. 
Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors
try to take the cows and kill you.

ANARCHO-CAPITALISM
You have two cows. 
You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. 
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.


----------another version

SOCIALISM 
You have two cows.
The government takes one to give to someone else.
 
COMMUNISM       
You have two cows.
The government takes both and gives you the milk.
 
FASCISM         
You have two cows.
The government takes both and sells you the milk.
 
NAZISM          
You have two cows.
The government takes both and shoots you.
 
BUREAUCRACY     
You have two cows.
The government takes both, shoots one, 
and pours the milk down the drain.
 
CAPITALISM      
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
 
CLINTON's NEW CAPITALISM      
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull; take out huge
loan on the cow, and ignore both the cow
and the loan from that point on; then you
try to milk the bull, and blame the
Japanese for its lack of production.