Chicken Joke Redux

			A continuation of the chicken joke

 Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
 Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares 
 why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.
 Machiavelli #2: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as 
 a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, 
 but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend 
 with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely 
 chicken's dominion maintained.
 Thomas de Torquemada:  Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll 
 find out.
 Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment 
 would let it take.
 Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt 
 necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical 
 juncture, and, therefore, synchronicitously brought such occurrences 
 into being.
 John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.
 Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning 
 except to him.
 The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the 
 Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the 
 road, and there was much rejoicing.
 Fox Mulder: It was a government conspiracy.
 Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road 
 reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
 Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally 
 selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to 
 cross roads.
 Darwin #2: It was the logical next step after coming down from the 
 Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the 
 chicken did not cross the road.
 Oliver Stone:  The question is not"Why did the chicken cross the 
 road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom 
 we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
 Jerry Seinfeld:  Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't 
 anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing 
 walking around all over the place anyway?"
 The Pope:  That is only for God to know.
 Louis Farrakhan:  The road, you will see, represents the black man.  
 The chicken crossed the "Black man" in order to trample him and keep 
 him down.
 Martin Luther King, Jr:  I envision a world where all chickens will be 
 free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
 Immanuel Kant:  The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross 
 the road of his own free will.
 Grandpa:  In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.  
 Someone told us that the chicken crossed the raod, and that was good 
 enough for us.
 Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective): I'm not exactly sure why, but right 
 now I've got a horse in my bathroom.
 Erich Maria Remarque:  The chicken crossed the road because, after his 
 experience with war, he no longer felt at home in his home.
 Bill Gates:  I have just received the new Chicken 2000, which will 
 both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 
 by 2 it gets 1.49999999999.
 M.C. Escher:  That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was 
 on at the time.
 George Orwell:  Because the government had fooled him into thinking 
 that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really 
 only serving their interests.
 Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
 Plato: For the greater good.
 Aristotle:  To actualize its potential.
 Karl Marx:  It was a historical inevitability.
 Nietzche:  Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road 
 gazes also across you.
 B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences, which had pervaded its 
 sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that 
 it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be 
 of its own freewill.
 Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, 
 the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
 Albert Einstein:  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road 
 crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
 Pyrrho the Skeptic:  What road?
 The Sphinx:  You tell me.
 Buddha:  If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
 Emily Dickinson:  Because it could not stop for death.
 Ralph Waldo Emerson:  It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
 Ernest Hemingway:  To die.  In the rain.
 Saddam Hussein:  This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were 
 quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
 Saddam Hussein #2:  It is the Mother of all Chickens.
 Joseph Stalin:  I don't care.  Catch it.  I need its eggs to make my 
 O.J.:  It didn't.  I was playing golf with it at the time.

Thanks to a fwd from (Christine Saum).

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